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Confession

When I wanted to go on an adventure with God to China, so that we could do that cool thing where I unravel and he shows up and I meet God in a new and fresh way and I feel alive again, I really thought the underlying pretext of the plan was that I would stay in China for a year. God totally psyched me out and flipped the script by giving me adventure in spades by causing all my dreams to fall apart and for me to now be sleeping in my friends' kids bedroom, while I figure out what the next step is. From this vantage point adventure is for the birds and I want my old comfy predictable existence back.  Funny how adventure and trusting God was perfectly ok with me, if it came on my terms aka China, but doing the "trusting God on an adventure" in America suddenly makes me want to call the whole thing off. Almost makes me wonder if perhaps, I was not really interested in the trusting God part of the adventure, just the international Traveller portion. So basically...
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Weeping endures

I find myself wading through the deepest trenches of sadness these days. I listen to Shane and Shane's "My Jesus I love thee" and weep. In it they sing, "Let the Amen, sound from your people again." Not sure why that phrase grips me like it does. But it is like a groan deep in my belly.  I don't even know if I truly understand my own emotions. Get Outlook for Android
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when it is time to go，it is time to go.

Much in the same way of Gods provision to come to China there is also miraculous provision to get the heck out.  I sold all of my dishes and thing I bought here for 2000 rmb which is only slightly less than what i paid for it.  a lady at the bible study gave me 2500 rmb. iv been told.that i will get one month of rent back a well which is 3500 rmb. that adds up to close to 1500usd. 🙌 i have had many friends offer money in the states as well.  my passport is ready today instead of the 21st. this will make it much easier for me to travel to beijing to see the great wall. i am doing a two day trip for $100.  my wechat (social media in china) broke today a well so i am not able to communicate with any chinese people.  such a weird transition. i will be home soon. Get Outlook for Android
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The Winds of Change are blowing

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Dear friends old and new： These change winds have me feeling like I am standing out in the open during a Nor'Easter in the middle of winter.  From the moment I decided to come to China to teach English，I felt two distinct and contradictory emotions：happy and sad. During the 8 months of preperation that continued. I watched what appearerd to be the hand of God provide financially for this trip through cash donations and seemingly miraculous car sales. I had the backing and support of my family and most of my friends. I felt like God was in this but I also knew that it was what I wanted to do.  7 weeks ago I landed in China and began working for Webi International English as a teacher. Life was hard. Probably the worst case of culture shock Ive ever had. There is an oppressive atmosphere here that makes life very difficult. I thought about giving up many times. But then slowly prayers were being answered and I was feeling hope about life in ...
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Even When

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Such an approrpriate song for this week. This is my anthem this weekend.  Get Outlook for Android
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passport changes

So I've been told that I have to leave China in 15 days. I am deeply saddened and extremely relieved at the same time. Everything about this trip has been so hard, but was just starting to turn the corner. I likely will be offered a job next week and perhaps they can help me to change the visa to a tourist visa and then send me to Hong Kong while we apply for a work visa. I really don't know what to do. I am sad. My head is swimming. I am running very low on money and don't know what to do. I appreciate anyone who reads this to pray.
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Let the Amen come from His people again

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This song has been on repeat practically everyday since Ive been in China.  This last phrase "let the amen sound from his people again" resonates deep within my belly.  Is it intercession for the people of China？I dont know. Maybe just for me. My declaraion.  I say Amen. My Jesus i need and love thee. 
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